It is currently raining as I write this blog and I can hear the soft patter of rain on the roof, it is cold and grey outside. As an introvert, days like this are wonderful for reflecting, and I do this to help myself get un-stuck! My recent observations from coaching practice and from life in general are about leaning into discomfort and challenging yourself to do something different. Because sometimes we feel stuck.
I like to use the analogy of a sheepskin rug. Whether it is round or square, I want you to find a rug or carpet mat and step on it. Do not move, just stand there. For at least five minutes stand still on that rug and close off your inner voice. Imagine brick walls slowly coming up around you, block by block. There are no windows and no roof and you cannot see the sun or feel fresh air. In fact, it is almost suffocating. This is the feeling described to me as someone who is stuck. Stuck in life, stuck in a rut or stuck in a dead-end job and completely afraid of breaking out of their self-built chamber. We may feel stuck yet being stuck is a belief, and it is not the same thing. Often people just do not want to deal with the consequences of moving forward or moving away from their comfort zone (the rug!). Feeling unhappy, unappreciated and angry in life or in your work can also cause you to STAY stuck.
Even if you are standing on your rug or mat, there are no walls, and you can see a long way into the distance, for some clients, taking a step off the rug is difficult and uncomfortable. Introverts can become concerned about bursting their bubble and trying something new. Should you ever be in this position; here are some coaching tips and powerful questions to start removing those bricks stepping off the sheepskin rug.
Explore and play around with the “STUCK” metaphor
- What does stuck look like for you?
- Explain what you see and hear or possibly smell from being stuck on your rug?
- Look around, if you see a window then go an open it up, or maybe the roof has a hole in it and you can see the sky.
- What does the outside world feel like to you after being stuck for so long?
- Is their an opportunity that you can visualize in your future to get “un-stuck”
An easy way to get moving is to do something and do anything NOW
- No matter how small, even if it is more reflecting on a rainy day, or reading a book, researching the web, making a list, writing down your inner thoughts or calling a friend.
- What can you START doing, then what can you STOP doing?
- The idea is to get up from your chair and do something – anything! Go for a walk, do a yoga or mediation class, finish a household task, cook muffins, go outside for a coffee – just do it!
Now think of possibilities for tomorrow. Brainstorm and let your mind go
- What if time or money was not an issue?
- Pretend for one minute that you could not fail?
- What might your inner child tell you to do?
- Think about what you could do to take one small step off that rug. Remember this is about exploring options, it does not mean you have to act on them.
Finally, lean into any discomfort and get moving by being focused and controlled
- Identify how your feel about the problem or challenge that the situation gives you.
- Can you pinpoint what you are missing out on?
- Write down one step you can take to improve your life or career?
- What is the result of staying where you are, on the sheepskin rug? Does this hinder you, or benefit you?
A life lived can be full of passion, joy, excitement, learning and wonderful memories. People are not stuck – they just think they are!